Total Mind F*ck!

   

                                                   

     Ok so I wasn't going to post anymore( except my routine which is not cooperating...ugh) but the days right after this comp were crazy and I would be selling myself short if I didn't document a bit about them.  After dieting way down, rarely taking in sodium, and then finally dehydrating my massive self down into a weight in the 130's, my body was nearly in shock after stuffing it full of crap food right after.  I actually woke up with a swollen face and eyes for a few days from all the salt.  I could tell by the way I felt I was storing every little calorie I shoved in.  I STILL AM LOL!!!  I was so sluggish and I didn't even feel like me.  I am still a swollen mess!!! It's ok though.  I had a blast and it made vacation at the beach way awesome.  I mean after all that I went through, I deserved to let loose and believe me.... the flood gates opened with a vengeance and for 5 days I drove my diet right off the cliff:

      No one warns you that hey, after you compete you will gain about 15 lbs in 48 hours.  I mean you can tell me it is mostly water weight all you want but it doesn't mean it won't fuck with my mind anyways.  Think about that for a sec....it takes people years to gain that much weight and boom!.... I woke up that much heavier in 2 days.  I was 151 lbs in three.   Luckily I am a pretty confident person and I am right enough in the mind to keep telling myself that the weight gain is healthy and I need it to reach the goals I have for next season.  Still, it totally messed with me and I had to keep repeating to myself over and over that it was ok.  So just a warning, something like this is not for everyone....no doubt.  If you decide to do it, come armed with a clean bill of health and a ego big enough to handle some major body image issues. Now that I have done it and gone through all the changes, I can't wait to spend the off season making globo GAINZ and going for it again!!! Competing and watching your body change so dramatically is a blast!!!  Gettin tubby growing legzzzzz!!! :) wooooohooooo!!!!!

    Sooooo, I have been on a paleo style diet plus my natural PB, steel cut oats and protein powder since getting back from vacation. I eat every three hours.  I feel great.  I have been shoveling in carbs after working out like a boss.  I MEAN SHOVELING!!!  One of my leg days per week is only 3 rep sets.....GROWING!! Then another leg day with higher reps super sets out the ass. I still have my other isolated days of around 25 rep super sets ending with a 100 rep set. I am starting back at CrossFit at least twice a week when my kid gets back from nationals.  I cut my cardio way back which is making me pack on some fat but I am ok with that.  Greg came with me for legs the other day and didn't even make it halfway through without having to stop and try not to puke. Conditioning is crucial with the way I roll ....THANK YOU CF FOR THAT!!!  I was killin it!!

  

I can't wait to do it all over again!!  Thanks for everything the past few months!  I will get back at ya soon with some epic progress!! :)


     

It Came, It Went, I CONQUERED!

      I can't believe it's over.  Those last few days were full of surprises that I can probably never fully explain.  A ton of tanning, sauna, and Sweet Sweat covered cardio. You'd think I was hunkered down starving and lifting, meanwhile right before competition I was full of waffles and pie filling with a side of salted Gatorade.  It was crazy awesome and I enjoyed every bedazzled, thirsty, and exhausted Reese's cup eating minute of it.  

 

 

        When I checked in Friday night I was thrilled to see that there was only one class of physique girls instead of short and tall classes.   You see this meant that my little dream was going to come true of being on stage at the same time as my Amber, and I couldn't of been happier about that.  We stayed up all night shoveling down sugar and carbs and finishing up our tans.  Make up was at 5:15, waffles were at 6am and check in was by 8 at the convention center.  The morning show was the posing portion.  I went out with the first group of girls and Amber with the second.  When we all lined up and they started first call out my dream of just being on stage at the same time blew up into something I couldn't have ever dreamed up myself.... THEY CALLED ME OUT THIRD AND AMBER OUT FOURTH!!!! SO THERE WE WERE SIDE BY SIDE JUST THE WAY IT SHOULD BE!!!!!!!! Just like it was day in and day out the past 3 years.  

         Pose after pose and minute after minute ticked by AND THERE WE WERE BRIGHT AS EVER full of love, trying not to start crying because we were so happy to be next to one another.  God and Norm were shining down on us that morning.  It couldn't have been more perfect and I was, right then, the happiest girl in the world.  No doubt. 

  

          It was a long exhausting wait to the night show.  It went great though.  We all killed our routines and looked God damn gorgeous. We stunk to high heaven and our tans were turning green.  My girls brought home some pretty impressive hardware and I was glowing with pride.  We finally finished around midnight.  Whew! 

       Honestly this experience was way more fun then I ever thought it would be.  I wasn't stressed at the show and being up on stage was fun as hell.  It was all just weird and crazy enough to make me do it all over again!!!  The people watching back stage was beyond stellar and I was entertained to the max! Orange crazy people everywhere!!!! It was awesome!!!!  

         Staying at the beach to relax after all this was definitely the right call.  I've manage to rest and eat everything fried and chocolate covered from Southport to the end of Oak Island.  I've already gained quite a few pounds and I'm ready to head back home and begin OPERATION GROW SOME LEGS AND ASS!!! Woooohoooooo!!!!!!!     

Positives:  A awesome photo shoot and everything competition!!  A great vacation with my man and FOOD FOOD FOOD EPICNESS!!!!!!  

Negatives: Amber left for Washington state.  I'm so sad.  

 

       If you've been thinking about something, stop thinking and please just do it.  I'm so glad I did.  I have been thinking about my dad a ton this past week.  I think it's because I know he would be super proud of me.  Thanks for reading my blog.  Thanks for all the kind words and messages of support and encouragement.   I hope to post my routine when I get back home.  Have a great week and get after it!!!! 

      

We made it!!!

     This experience was way more amazing then I ever could have imagined ( and weird and crazy but super fun).  We had a blast!!  I wanna thank everyone for the overwhelming outpouring of support.  You guys fucking rock!!!  I'm staying at the beach for a few to eat, eat, eat and relax.  I know I usually post on Sundays but competition went past midnight and Friday I didn't sleep sooooo I need some time to gather my thoughts and go through some pics.   I haven't even watched my own routine yet!! 

These girls really killed it and definitely helped make this competition one of the most awesome things I've ever done.  I will remember being on that stage with them forever! :)  Good, good stuff!!!

Thanks again, have a great few days, and pass the puke bucket....I may need it!!! ;) 

So Close!!!

   

  I can't believe it is 5 days away!!!  What a cool experience full of twists and turns, big surprises, and even a few little setbacks that I had to plow through. It's Sunday morning at 6am and I'm in my living room bundled up in sweats, covered in Sweet Sweat, stepping away.  I can't believe how far I've come!! I can't believe how far my friends Amber and Anne have come!!  I cant believe how much I've learned!! It's incredible to me how much our bodies can change in only a few weeks.   Its getting tough though....Between the driving, the workouts, sauna, tanning, food prep, and posing its all taking up so much of my day and I can't wait till Saturday!!!!  Time to mentally prepare to be thirsty....very, very, very thirsty and CRANKIER then ever!!

    Looking forward to a great day today full of water, mountain climbers and a photo shoot that my friends and I set up at the Fit Factory.  I know it's gonna be fun.  PROFILE PICS GALORE BABY!!!  Im also looking forward to a few days of rest at the beach with my husband as soon as the comp is over.  He works so much and I go to bed so early now that we don't get to hang, so I am excited.  Kid at at grandmas house.... Wooohooooo!!!  ( I just heard Barry White singing in my head while I wrote that! Haha).  

Negatives of the week:  it's a little hard to stay focused but that's ok. I'm incredibly forgetful. I'm even getting tired of working out so you know it's a lot....LOL!  Only a couple more extremely busy days left.  The fact that Amber is leaving after our show is like a giant black funeral cloud hanging over us.  Trying to stay positive and not cry during training sessions is becoming increasing more difficult.  BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! I HATE IT!!!

Positives: Training and posing is going good. My coach is so energetic, positive and supportive, so, he just radiates excitement and its contagious and awesome.  I am beyond pleased with myself, especially for a first show!!  The sauna isn't as bad as I thought however I'm not dehydrated yet so I am sure I will be on suicide watch by Wednesday. Yay.  My kid is all registered for Youth USAW Nationals for Olympic weightlifting. It's all the way in Kansas or some shit.   She goes on the 25 th of this month and we get to visit with our besties while out that way.   We are both super excited for that. In fact those plans are helping to keep me sane.  Emma is trying to start her own blog about her training so look for that soon.  It should be pretty cool.

I AM DREAMING OF FOOD!!!! BROWN SUGAR CHICKEN NACHOS, TUNA BITES AND WAFFLES!!!!! SUNDAY IT IS ON!!!!!  ONLY 5 DAYS AND A WAKE UP!!!!!!    Have a great week!!!!! :)

DO IT!!!

 

            All I can say is if you have been thinking about training for something, DO IT!!  I mean, you totally can.  A 5K, mud run, marathon, climbing a mountain, qualifying for the CrossFit games, a freakin Ironman, whatever it is you totally should.  You probably already do way harder stuff every day then training for whatever competition is in the back of your mind anyway. I mean anyone can be a mom, spouse, or employee but it's fucking way hard and exhausting to be a rock star at them.  I'm sure most of you have
committed to being great at one or more of those things already so training for a competition would be a cake walk for you.  I see you fighting for our freedom, carrying baby buckets everywhere, volunteering, holding down the fort while husbands are deployed and you are worried sick, I see you successfully running businesses and/ or your households, even being caretakers to your children and parents at the same time. Conquering a marathon got nothin on that!   You do some inspiring shit on the daily so just pony up for that thing you've always dreamed about...we all have one.  JUST GO FOR IT!!

       I have two weeks left before I'm even on that stage and it has already been a incredible experience.  The only thing I would've regretted is not going for it.  Beautiful big muscles aside, I have accomplished so much more on the inside from this.  I am beaming with pride because I chose something and for weeks and weeks I stuck with it no matter what.  A grueling diet and training schedule, posing that scared the shit out of me, a hurting sore body, and damn routines, all while starving and keeping up with my regular responsibilities.

The confidence I have gained from this is incredible.  The discipline and responsibility I've shown has trickled down into other portions of my life and I am way better for it.  I know I can do whatever the hell I put my mind too and that my friends is PRICELESS.  If I come in first or last, it doesn't matter because I literally feel like I can conquer the world. Goals are awesome, reaching them makes you feel even more awesome, so please go after yours.  You WILL NOT regret it. 

Negatives of the week:  I'm getting tired but it's ok....I'm in the home stretch.  My husband is beyond freaked out by my man muscles.  It's pretty funny.  The freakishness is short lived and almost over though so it's all good. :)

Positives:  I'm doing nothing but sleeping, training and eating at this point.  I'm mentally preparing for it to get really tough in these final days.  I know "The Call" is coming and things are about to get real tight.  I'm excited to see what happens to my body in this final stretch.  It's going to be hard but worth it.  Countdown to candy and the beach:  12 DAYS AND A WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great week.  If you have time for Facebook you have time to train for your goal! ;) Good luck!!!

PS:  I am going to start recruiting for next year.... I want as many girls as possible training with me at The Fit Factory!!  The more the merrier!!  IT IS SO MUCH FUN!!!! :)  

The Addict In Me.

   

      The addict in me is already worried about my next fix.  I am crazy.  Researching nutrition and other things to help me reach new goals.  My first competition is in 20 days and I already can't wait to start training for the next round.   I hope to get stronger over the next few months on a caveman diet.  From what I have been reading though it would be beneficial for me to keep something like oats at least in the mornings for training purposes. I think that may be crucial in getting some proper carbs to grow some more legs. Otherwise I could probably just get away with root veggies and dense greens instead of things like rice.  I would obviously keep my yummy protein powders but may look for something more natural.  I will not rid myself of peanut butter.  It's not paleo but I don't care.  The Fit Factory is certainly in my future plans and a CrossFit gym.  I know I will probably want to WOD a time or two a week because I really do enjoy it too.

         I am worried about my training buddy moving. She wants me not to talk about it but my addict behavior is taking over.  I am more then worried, I am obsessing. Thelma and Louise!!!!   I don't like this one bit.  I mean day in and day out we sweat together and give it our all for hours on end.  It's our passion and sanity.  It's going to be a tough change.  I know God has a plan and we will survive moving onto the next chapter but I do not have to like it.   I will be accepting applications for someone to train with, however you must be a beautiful blonde angel beast sent directly from heaven to me, who never has any excuses and trains like she gets millions of dollars just to work out. You have get to the gym no matter what your gigantic family throws your way. You must leave it all on the floor everyday and also keep me in line. You must be a tad overly sensitive to make up for my insensitivity.  I can be paranoid and rude for the both of us. Minimum requirements of skills are OHS your body weight for 5, back squat it for 20, strict pull ups for sure and be able to bat your eyelashes at 100 rep sets of everything else.....  Holy shit, I am going to miss our work outs my friend. I'm totally kidding about applications.... we all know you can never be replaced.  While these other girls sit on the JV bench we work our asses off.  We will have to Skype or Facetime some gym time!!   I am already planning a trip to Washington so we can shop for my other addiction....SPEED SHORTS!! Canadian prints baby!!  ;)  Thank you for doing all this craziness with me. It wouldn't have been the same without you.  I am sad but excited for our futures.  June 8th will be so bitter sweet.  This really has been a ride of a lifetime and we are so blessed. Oh and Amber, YES I WILL EVEN MISS THOSE DAMN KIDS!!!! ;)

           I am excited and relaxed about competition.  It's nothing to stress over, again, this is a hobby and should be fun.  Especially now that my body has gone above and beyond my wildest expectations.  I can't believe that washboard is mine!!  So cool!!! In fact I am so lean I got hooked up with unlimited greens and other treats!! ( I bet I just jinxed myself LOL)  I feel great and I can't wait!!   I am looking beyond WIERD now. It's cool but even if it was possible to keep this up I wouldn't. I caught my husband grabbing my shoulders the other day with a WTF look on his face!!  PRICELESS!!! Now three or four weeks ago, that would be a different story because it would be great to look like that all the time but this is crazy!!   It's tooooo much and people stare and even run into displays at Walmart when they see me. I can't go into Food Lion without a bunch of ridiculous comments.  It is awesome and I can't wait to walk through Target tomorrow with Amber. People will be tripping and whispering around every corner...now that's entertainment. <3 it!


Negatives of the week:  I may need a new 12 step program for powdered peanut butter...... NOTHING IN MODERATION!!!.... ADDICT!!!!   Or maybe I can just head over to AA and add peanut butter in after i introduce myself as an alcoholic I'm sure friends of Bill wouldn't mind. They've heard it all.  Monday and Tuesday I was in a shit mood.  IT WAS SOOOOOOOO BAD!!!  I assume it's because I was slammed and missed some Fit Factory time. I was also very, very tired and my back was hurting. I just felt drained. I literally had to put myself in timeout Tuesday morning instead of going to the gym.

Positives:  I got all fixed, had a therapeutic massage, adjustment, and got a couple ribs put back in place. Only missed 2 days of lifting to rest my back but did legs and cardio to fill the void. Feelin like a million bucks now especially after all the extra calories and green goodness!!!!! Ahead of schedule and HAPPY!!!!  20 DAYS TILL THE BEACH AND CANDY!!!!!!!!!


Getting close!!!  HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!! GET OUT AND GET AFTER IT!!  NO EXCUSES!!!

Some Reflections On This Journey and A Happy Mother's Day.

 

     I used to give my dad a Mother's Day Card every year.  I knew it meant so much to him.  For most of my life it was just me and him and he was my mom, my dad,  my best friend and always my biggest fan.  Even as life changed throughout the years we always stayed so incredibly close.  When I moved to NC so did he.  We had it like that.  Always there for each other no matter what.  He was that constant I had in my life that was so very comforting. I wish I could hear him tell me how beautiful I am or give me a hug like he did every single day.  I want to hear him laugh so bad I would give anything.  I  miss him terribly.  That brings us to how this all started...


     Right before my dad got sick I was already unsatisfied with my training and eating habits. I was just stagnant.   I knew I wanted a change.  By the time he was in the hospital I was eating like shit everyday and rarely getting to any gym at all.  When he passed, I had two choices to make, 1: take all my new found free time and feel sorry for myself or 2: pick something to conquer and make him proud.  I chose the latter... Thank God because between him and then all my close friends moving ( Thanks Army- The Voice) I could of ended up in a bad way.  Instead, I had this training and diet to focus on and I am so thankful. I threw myself right into the deep end.   It has helped me tremendously on so many levels. I am really enjoying it and I feel better about myself then I ever have.  Plus Thelma and Louise are in full effect for one last go around on NC turf! ;)

       I had no idea I would make it as far as I have.  I remember my first blog post and I said to myself " Oh fuck, I better pray I can even make enough progress to get on that stage at all."  I can get on that stage and be proud.  For years I found myself comparing my body to others.  Something of mine was never good enough.   Recently that has all changed.  I had an "Aha" moment while practicing posing on stage.  I realize that there will always be a girl with bigger more defined muscles, less body fat or a have a heavier clean and jerk or a faster Fran. That white board or that girls big blingged out round ass doesn't define how I should feel about myself.  When I was on stage all alone posing in front of people I realized none of that mattered.  It didn't matter because it's not about them.  It's about me being the best I can be at what I am doing at that moment. SO I FEEL GREAT!!  I LOVED being up there posing in front of everyone,  little legs and all because they have come so far!!  I felt confident and I was smiling ear to ear!!  It was fun and that is what it is all about!!  So looking back I have learned that my progress and having a good time is all that matters. I set out to do something and I am well on my way.  Some little stupid cheap ass trophy isn't why I am doing this.  I am doing it for the journey ( and of course the profile pictures DUH.).  I can't wait to be up on stage all brown and weird with my girls!! :)

      Look we aren't perfect.  I eat way to much powdered peanut butter and jello. I still have delicious almond milk.  I didn't do enough cardio yesterday.  I'm not down on myself about it.  It's ok. I work my ass off.  This is all a hobby and it should be fun not torture.  If powdered peanut butter makes it not torture, so be it.  I am reaching my goals,  growing and making wonderful progress...soooooo chalk up a WIN!!

Negatives of the week:  THE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF POWDERED PEANUT BUTTER I HAVE CONSUMED.  I wanted to put that in the positives but I probably shouldn't. I guess it didn't help matters that my monthly visitor is here.  You would think a reward for training this hard and not eating that much would be no period, but NOPE.  Anyway, 4: 45 am comes early but in a weird way I like it.  It makes me feel super accomplished and focused to be knocking out a training session before the rest of the world even thinks about starting their day.

Positives:  All my training was great.  Working out to look MY best is FANTASTIC! It feels right( for now anyway, you never know what I will do next).  I slept in till 6 today and my husband gave me a massage.  This last posing clinic was incredibly insightful.  I just want June 8th to get here!! I can't wait to get back to Paleo. Packing and preparing has become easy and fast.  Going caveman again will be very enjoyable.   All the messages I have been getting from here to Afghanistan are awesome.  I am so happy I have inspired others to go after it.  I hope it makes them as I happy as it does me.  :)


Happy Mother's Day, keep your priorities straight, don't forget what YOUR goals are and have a great week!!