Sunday, April 28, 2013

I Knew It Would Pass!

     Whew!  Thank God this week was WAY better then last.  I felt really good.   I wasn't starving and obsessing.  My cardio has even been bumped up 15 more minutes a day and I still felt fantastic.  I guess I am in an awesome peak after being deep down in the valley. That's okay.  It's good to struggle sometimes.  The grumpiness and everything has seemed to pass, for now at least! YAY!!!:)


  I am absolutely killing it when I work out and my body has continued to change.  I even scared myself at the globo when I caught a glimpse of me in a mirror.  It's getting pretty weird now with all the muscles on top of muscles and  giant veins popping out EVERYWHERE.  I feel so tiny and skinny at home and then when I work out super hard I I feel like The Thing from The Fantastic Four.
 HAHA!!!! It's crazy, it's weird but it's pretty fun stuff.  Time is ticking away so fast now. Competition will be here in a blink.  I can't wait.  Changing like this even if it's just for a few weeks is so cool.  Talk about taking your body to the extreme.  AWESOME!!!

   So I witnessed something that absolutely warmed my heart when I was leaving CrossFit one morning.  A new girl came in with her very new baby.   I could tell she had some CF experience by the way she rocked those booty shorts and knee socks.  The workout had 400m sprints with rest in between.  Her baby is so new that feeding time is probably still nearly constant.  That didn't stop her from showing up to class and trying her best no matter what. She would run out for a sprint come back in and pick up her crying baby and go off  to the side to breast feed during her rest on the clock!!!!  When it was time to go she went and came right back in and did it again!!   It was FUCKING EPIC!!!  NOOOOOOOOOO EXCUSES PEOPLE!!!!  She reminded me of when I used to throw my Emma in a seat on the back of my  bike and go for miles and miles with nothing but an extra bottle and a diaper tucked in next to her.  I LOVE IT!!!!!

Negatives of the week:  More cardio duh.  It's not bad only 45 minutes all together but hey, it's cardio BLAH.

Positives:  SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!  Our photo shoot is all booked. My routine is lookin good.  I had a total rest day Saturday with my friends and we got massages and coffee talk time. We also have been able to meet up more then ever to train together and that is always a plus! :)  Today I saw some wonderful people at WOD In The Park and it was very nice. I love things that encourage the whole community to come out and get active with their kids. It's so important. Biggest positive is I'm not hungry this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a ton of energy, maybe too much....Thanks Synedrex- The Voice.

PS: Powdered peanut butter is the shit!!!! YUM!!!!!!


Sunday, April 21, 2013

It's Not All Rainbows, Puppies, And Unicorns.

       If you are looking for rainbows, unicorns, puppies and pure diet inspiration, turn back now and tune in next Sunday.  It's been tough this week.  I'm cranky, really cranky.  This is hard, really hard. When I am in the gym I feel unstoppable and I train like a fucking super hero but by 2 pm I am toast.  Exhausted, hungry and using what little strength I have left to not lose my cool all week long has been a challenge.  I'm not saying I haven't had some fantastic moments the past seven days, I'm just saying this week has been pretty rough and mentally I feel wrecked. I am just tired of feeling unsatisfied and it would be nice to go a day without feeling my blood sugar crash and burn in the afternoon after crazy training sessions in the morning.  Then I am stuck trying to recover from that the rest of the evening.  EXHAUSTED!!!! HUNGRY!!!!  CRAVING HEAVY, WARM, DELICIOUS, COMFY FUEL, no doubt.  I CAN"T WAIT TO EAT WITH MY FAMILY AGAIN!!!!

     It hasn't been all bad though, my body has continued to change and training is going great.  I am touching myself more then ever and I feel AMAZING!!!  My underwear are falling off and I am back in my size 2 Lulu speed shorts.  My husband said I am so skinny it looks like my feet are growing!!!  He also suggested that I am so little I may need to be in the figure category ;) AHHHHHHH!!! LOL!! My suits came and they are GORGEOUS!!  I fear my prejudging suit may be a bit over the top with the metallic snake skin print but, hey, that sounds about right for me.

       OK, OK, SOOOOO...I'm just human and I know these bad feelings and grumpiness will pass. I just needed to get it off my chest I guess.  I am very thankful and proud of my accomplishments so far.  Life changing goals like this aren't easy but they are so worth it.  So far this journey has been an incredible growing experience and I am stronger then ever on so many levels. Especially mentally. I think about my life and I glow because I feel so incredibly blessed.  The things I've lived through and the drastic changes I have made over the years are freaking awesome and looking back I can't believe I am here.  It really is  incredible. This all goes back to a post I wrote weeks ago... Anyone can change,  It all starts with a decision, then a commitment to that decision, dedication along with consistency and perseverance. Perseverance is where your character comes in and you really get to shine after everyone has stopped paying attention and you are behind closed doors. That's when sticking with it really counts. I mean I didn't stop drinking a fifth and a half a day and then immediately go to the CrossFit games the next week or take care of my dad with Alzheimer disease took time, hard work and a lot of growth to be able to handle things like that, especially while no one was looking.  Sometimes you are forced into that growth, sometimes it's a choice.
 I committed my life to change, there were bumps along the way, and it didn't happen overnight but as the days went by, things got better and better and I became happier and happier with myself. Just like this week, it's not going that great but I know if I stick with it the rewards will be sweet. I guess I am writing all this crap because I really needed to hear it myself.  A friendly little reminder for me to not be a total vag. It's good to take on change that is very challenging and scares the shit out of you once in a while.  That stage scares the shit out of me but I CAN'T WAIT TO CONQUER IT!!!  Bling bling!!!

Negatives of the week: The whole first paragraph DUH. Also I had a latte and a couple squares of organic dark chocolate ( I wanted to put that in the positives but since it is "cheating" I guess it should go here, blah).

Positives:  Everything else. I LOVE TRAINING!!!  I may be grumpy and starving in the afternoons but I am hanging in and enjoying the experience.  I may need to consider setting aside a cat nap time during the day even if I don't actually sleep.  A few quiet minutes to rest and reboot could be very helpful. Also I took a TOTAL rest day today and even though it is my usually miserable super low carb/cal day I feel great.  Maybe I really needed that! :)  AND MY SUITS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!  HALF WAY!!!!!!! JUNE 8TH!!!!

I am thankful for this blog, it helps keep me motivated and I am so glad I have all this documented to look back on.  Thank you guys for reading!!! Have a great week!!!!

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”

― Newt Gingrich

Sunday, April 14, 2013

CrossFit Made My Week!!

      Believe it or not it totally did.  I AM STRONGER!!  I actually took class with the regulars instead of just a friend or two and I followed what was written on the board. I also did a long amrap and row with my training partner before class started.  I even made it in today and had a great time with coach Anne and Amber.  It was awesome.   Weaknesses that I had before I left for my globo  gym goals were no longer there.  Pistols came one right after the other.  Handstand push ups were done without fail.  Toe to bars and pull ups were just flowing in sets of ten unbroken over and over again. Sets of 20 wallballs and kettle bell swings unbroken were not devastatingly hard.  My 95 lb cleans felt like 65 lbs did a few months ago. Working up to a 120lb snatch was easy and only took a few short minutes.   I couldn't believe it.  I just kept going and going and going with a huge smile on my face.  It was great!!

      This was all confirmation that my decision to be more open minded about fitness was right for me.  I was lacking strength in many areas and became stagnant and bored. The pr's weren't coming and the constant metcons or heavy olympic lifts were not doing anything for me at that point. My joints ached and it took me a year and a half to warm up.  All the "functional movements" of CrossFit was not enough for me to keep getting better and I lost interest.  The isolated exercises I began doing ( yes some on the machines) have obviously made me stronger for much of what CF throws my way.  I realize now how deficient my hamstrings, back and sections of my shoulders were. They were very underdeveloped and it showed. The wonderful difference from this week and 4 months ago is nearly unbelievable in those areas. I guess it's just not all for looks after all. ;)

      I'm not saying all CrossFitters should go train for a bodybuilding comp.  That would be fucking crazy.  I'm just saying don't knock the globo so much. Some of us enjoy it and benefit from it. It's been around for freakin ever.  I'm not a doctor or some fancy fitness expert I'm just speaking from my current experience. Maybe if you devoted just a little time here and there to some isolated stuff you would up your CF game. I'd bet money you would.    I do still believe in ELIPTICAL=FAIL, OVERHEAD SQUAT=WIN....I'm not that far gone. BAHAHAHAHAH! I can't bare to get on that thing still!!! HAHA!!  ;)  It's to bad my CF kool aid drunk took so long to wear off though, I may of checked my ego and had a open mind about other types of training much sooner if it did.  I do know that as soon as my competition is over I am going to try all different types of classes and activities and squeeze in CrossFit as well BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME!! DUH!! Do expect to catch me the majority of my time down at the regular old gym though.  I feel to good to not keep it up!  It's gonna be fantastic!!

Negatives of the week:  I was dying hungry on Fri and Sat craving sweets.  I started my period today so I'm feeling better.  I think I'm over the peanut butter and honey spoon or murder charge hump.  Those were my two choices last night for real.  I choose option number 1 a few times.

Positives of the week:  Everything else!!! THE WEATHER IS INCREDIBLE!!! I had a great week and I'm ready to hit it hard tomorrow!!  Feeling great!!!  SEVEN WEEKS TO GO!!!!! :)

Have a wonderful,productive week and try something new!!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013



        I DO IT CONSTANTLY!!!!  I mean I can't believe this body is mine. Over the last couple weeks the feel of it has dramatically changed. I have this whole other muscle on the side of my stomach I didn't even know existed!! I can see the bottom of the dark hole I call a belly button!!!  This six pack feels like it is made out of bricks. My legs actually have definition and I catch myself pinching them because they are hard as rocks!!!  OK, OK, maybe not bricks and rocks but pretty damn hard.  I can't go past a mirror without checking myself out....Oh wait I've always done that. Duh.  It's just that now when I check myself out I'm totally flexin somethin like a giant douche. Seriously, brushing my teeth, peeing, walkin though my bedroom or in a store, if there is a mirror, I'm checkin myself out.  For realsies.  I mean fuck it, I'm only gonna be doing this for a few more short weeks. Might as well feel myself up and stare while I can.

    Things are supposed to start changing even more dramatically as the days tick by and my diet gets even more strict and the training turns up.  I can't imagine how much I will be grabbing myself then.  I honestly don't even know if I will have time for anything else at that point.  I may never leave my house...who knows.  Seriously, this is so freakin cool.

      OK, so recently with my kids dramatic drop in activities I have decided to cut the remaining crap food out of her diet.  I was still packing her some things like chips, jerky and protein bars as snacks sometimes if she was going to be away at the gym all night. It was a pain to pack fresh for the entire day and I just didn't want to deal with it sometimes. I'm just being honest.  Her breakfast and lunches were great and then...wah, wah, wah, the rest of the day not so much.  She was already use to not having bread and things like that so it wasn't that big of deal. Her being home a bit more was a great opportunity to get the rest of the processed garbage out entirely ( except dairy, she drinks whole milk and has some cheeses and lunch meats).  I've learned that they may not like it and give some push back.  It sucks at first. It's a little more work and they will fight it but I think it's worth it.  You see if all you have is healthy stuff in the house they may go hungry a few time but they will give in...they aren't going to starve to death.
                     Healthy meals for the week plus a little extra for the pantry and freezer.  

     Some say it's super expensive too.  It's not if you keep it simple.  I get what I can at Sam's Club.  In an ideal world we could all fill up our carts every few days at Whole Foods and buy grass fed everything, but most can't.  That's fine, there are other ways. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs to be real food.  I make special things for my husband and go to the gourmet stores sometimes and when this diet I'm on is over I can't wait to start shopping again at the Farmers Markets.  It's just much easier and inexpensive for me to get what I can at a big box store during these remaining weeks.  There's nothing wrong with that.

      I don't want to come across all preachy, I just know that over the last year my husbands health has improved dramatically and he lost 50lbs. He is off medications. I am so proud of him for changing his lifestyle. ( He didn't set out to loose weight, just get healthier, but it just automatically happened when he went all caveman. I also just want my kid to grow up with healthier habits then I had. I mean I lived off of Cherokee Red, Kraft mac and Chefboyardee growing up.  This doesn't mean she never eats like a kid.  She just recognizes when she eats junk and doesn't do it often. I mean it's not like she didn't chow down on a huge popcorn and candy at the movies last night.  We just don't keep it in our house.  I feel passionate about this. We feel better as a whole when we eat better food that is not processed, no doubt.  I'm not perfect, I mean the things I would do for a slice of Mellow Mushroom pie right now would make Heidi Fleiss blush.  Nobody is perfect, we just have to keep trying to be better so we can be around for a long time to enjoy this awesome life of ours! :)

Negatives of the week:  A few days I was exhausted and didn't even want to train.  Friday was a struggle and I was starving.

Positives:  Everything else!!!! :) And a big thank you to anyone who has sent me messages or posted comments about my blog and journey.  You guys help me so much! :)

Get out and get yourself some real food and have a great week!!! :)  I'm off for a run!