Sunday, June 23, 2013

Total Mind F*ck!


     Ok so I wasn't going to post anymore( except my routine which is not cooperating...ugh) but the days right after this comp were crazy and I would be selling myself short if I didn't document a bit about them.  After dieting way down, rarely taking in sodium, and then finally dehydrating my massive self down into a weight in the 130's, my body was nearly in shock after stuffing it full of crap food right after.  I actually woke up with a swollen face and eyes for a few days from all the salt.  I could tell by the way I felt I was storing every little calorie I shoved in.  I STILL AM LOL!!!  I was so sluggish and I didn't even feel like me.  I am still a swollen mess!!! It's ok though.  I had a blast and it made vacation at the beach way awesome.  I mean after all that I went through, I deserved to let loose and believe me.... the flood gates opened with a vengeance and for 5 days I drove my diet right off the cliff:

      No one warns you that hey, after you compete you will gain about 15 lbs in 48 hours.  I mean you can tell me it is mostly water weight all you want but it doesn't mean it won't fuck with my mind anyways.  Think about that for a takes people years to gain that much weight and boom!.... I woke up that much heavier in 2 days.  I was 151 lbs in three.   Luckily I am a pretty confident person and I am right enough in the mind to keep telling myself that the weight gain is healthy and I need it to reach the goals I have for next season.  Still, it totally messed with me and I had to keep repeating to myself over and over that it was ok.  So just a warning, something like this is not for doubt.  If you decide to do it, come armed with a clean bill of health and a ego big enough to handle some major body image issues. Now that I have done it and gone through all the changes, I can't wait to spend the off season making globo GAINZ and going for it again!!! Competing and watching your body change so dramatically is a blast!!!  Gettin tubby growing legzzzzz!!! :) wooooohooooo!!!!!

    Sooooo, I have been on a paleo style diet plus my natural PB, steel cut oats and protein powder since getting back from vacation. I eat every three hours.  I feel great.  I have been shoveling in carbs after working out like a boss.  I MEAN SHOVELING!!!  One of my leg days per week is only 3 rep sets.....GROWING!! Then another leg day with higher reps super sets out the ass. I still have my other isolated days of around 25 rep super sets ending with a 100 rep set. I am starting back at CrossFit at least twice a week when my kid gets back from nationals.  I cut my cardio way back which is making me pack on some fat but I am ok with that.  Greg came with me for legs the other day and didn't even make it halfway through without having to stop and try not to puke. Conditioning is crucial with the way I roll ....THANK YOU CF FOR THAT!!!  I was killin it!!


I can't wait to do it all over again!!  Thanks for everything the past few months!  I will get back at ya soon with some epic progress!! :)


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It Came, It Went, I CONQUERED!

      I can't believe it's over.  Those last few days were full of surprises that I can probably never fully explain.  A ton of tanning, sauna, and Sweet Sweat covered cardio. You'd think I was hunkered down starving and lifting, meanwhile right before competition I was full of waffles and pie filling with a side of salted Gatorade.  It was crazy awesome and I enjoyed every bedazzled, thirsty, and exhausted Reese's cup eating minute of it.  



        When I checked in Friday night I was thrilled to see that there was only one class of physique girls instead of short and tall classes.   You see this meant that my little dream was going to come true of being on stage at the same time as my Amber, and I couldn't of been happier about that.  We stayed up all night shoveling down sugar and carbs and finishing up our tans.  Make up was at 5:15, waffles were at 6am and check in was by 8 at the convention center.  The morning show was the posing portion.  I went out with the first group of girls and Amber with the second.  When we all lined up and they started first call out my dream of just being on stage at the same time blew up into something I couldn't have ever dreamed up myself.... THEY CALLED ME OUT THIRD AND AMBER OUT FOURTH!!!! SO THERE WE WERE SIDE BY SIDE JUST THE WAY IT SHOULD BE!!!!!!!! Just like it was day in and day out the past 3 years.  

         Pose after pose and minute after minute ticked by AND THERE WE WERE BRIGHT AS EVER full of love, trying not to start crying because we were so happy to be next to one another.  God and Norm were shining down on us that morning.  It couldn't have been more perfect and I was, right then, the happiest girl in the world.  No doubt. 


          It was a long exhausting wait to the night show.  It went great though.  We all killed our routines and looked God damn gorgeous. We stunk to high heaven and our tans were turning green.  My girls brought home some pretty impressive hardware and I was glowing with pride.  We finally finished around midnight.  Whew! 

       Honestly this experience was way more fun then I ever thought it would be.  I wasn't stressed at the show and being up on stage was fun as hell.  It was all just weird and crazy enough to make me do it all over again!!!  The people watching back stage was beyond stellar and I was entertained to the max! Orange crazy people everywhere!!!! It was awesome!!!!  

         Staying at the beach to relax after all this was definitely the right call.  I've manage to rest and eat everything fried and chocolate covered from Southport to the end of Oak Island.  I've already gained quite a few pounds and I'm ready to head back home and begin OPERATION GROW SOME LEGS AND ASS!!! Woooohoooooo!!!!!!!     

Positives:  A awesome photo shoot and everything competition!!  A great vacation with my man and FOOD FOOD FOOD EPICNESS!!!!!!  

Negatives: Amber left for Washington state.  I'm so sad.  

       If you've been thinking about something, stop thinking and please just do it.  I'm so glad I did.  I have been thinking about my dad a ton this past week.  I think it's because I know he would be super proud of me.  Thanks for reading my blog.  Thanks for all the kind words and messages of support and encouragement.   I hope to post my routine when I get back home.  Have a great week and get after it!!!! 


Sunday, June 9, 2013

We made it!!!

     This experience was way more amazing then I ever could have imagined ( and weird and crazy but super fun).  We had a blast!!  I wanna thank everyone for the overwhelming outpouring of support.  You guys fucking rock!!!  I'm staying at the beach for a few to eat, eat, eat and relax.  I know I usually post on Sundays but competition went past midnight and Friday I didn't sleep sooooo I need some time to gather my thoughts and go through some pics.   I haven't even watched my own routine yet!! 

These girls really killed it and definitely helped make this competition one of the most awesome things I've ever done.  I will remember being on that stage with them forever! :)  Good, good stuff!!!

Thanks again, have a great few days, and pass the puke bucket....I may need it!!! ;) 

Sunday, June 2, 2013

So Close!!!

  I can't believe it is 5 days away!!!  What a cool experience full of twists and turns, big surprises, and even a few little setbacks that I had to plow through. It's Sunday morning at 6am and I'm in my living room bundled up in sweats, covered in Sweet Sweat, stepping away.  I can't believe how far I've come!! I can't believe how far my friends Amber and Anne have come!!  I cant believe how much I've learned!! It's incredible to me how much our bodies can change in only a few weeks.   Its getting tough though....Between the driving, the workouts, sauna, tanning, food prep, and posing its all taking up so much of my day and I can't wait till Saturday!!!!  Time to mentally prepare to be thirsty....very, very, very thirsty and CRANKIER then ever!!

    Looking forward to a great day today full of water, mountain climbers and a photo shoot that my friends and I set up at the Fit Factory.  I know it's gonna be fun.  PROFILE PICS GALORE BABY!!!  Im also looking forward to a few days of rest at the beach with my husband as soon as the comp is over.  He works so much and I go to bed so early now that we don't get to hang, so I am excited.  Kid at at grandmas house.... Wooohooooo!!!  ( I just heard Barry White singing in my head while I wrote that! Haha).  

Negatives of the week:  it's a little hard to stay focused but that's ok. I'm incredibly forgetful. I'm even getting tired of working out so you know it's a lot....LOL!  Only a couple more extremely busy days left.  The fact that Amber is leaving after our show is like a giant black funeral cloud hanging over us.  Trying to stay positive and not cry during training sessions is becoming increasing more difficult.  BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! I HATE IT!!!

Positives: Training and posing is going good. My coach is so energetic, positive and supportive, so, he just radiates excitement and its contagious and awesome.  I am beyond pleased with myself, especially for a first show!!  The sauna isn't as bad as I thought however I'm not dehydrated yet so I am sure I will be on suicide watch by Wednesday. Yay.  My kid is all registered for Youth USAW Nationals for Olympic weightlifting. It's all the way in Kansas or some shit.   She goes on the 25 th of this month and we get to visit with our besties while out that way.   We are both super excited for that. In fact those plans are helping to keep me sane.  Emma is trying to start her own blog about her training so look for that soon.  It should be pretty cool.


Sunday, May 26, 2013

DO IT!!!


            All I can say is if you have been thinking about training for something, DO IT!!  I mean, you totally can.  A 5K, mud run, marathon, climbing a mountain, qualifying for the CrossFit games, a freakin Ironman, whatever it is you totally should.  You probably already do way harder stuff every day then training for whatever competition is in the back of your mind anyway. I mean anyone can be a mom, spouse, or employee but it's fucking way hard and exhausting to be a rock star at them.  I'm sure most of you have
committed to being great at one or more of those things already so training for a competition would be a cake walk for you.  I see you fighting for our freedom, carrying baby buckets everywhere, volunteering, holding down the fort while husbands are deployed and you are worried sick, I see you successfully running businesses and/ or your households, even being caretakers to your children and parents at the same time. Conquering a marathon got nothin on that!   You do some inspiring shit on the daily so just pony up for that thing you've always dreamed about...we all have one.  JUST GO FOR IT!!

       I have two weeks left before I'm even on that stage and it has already been a incredible experience.  The only thing I would've regretted is not going for it.  Beautiful big muscles aside, I have accomplished so much more on the inside from this.  I am beaming with pride because I chose something and for weeks and weeks I stuck with it no matter what.  A grueling diet and training schedule, posing that scared the shit out of me, a hurting sore body, and damn routines, all while starving and keeping up with my regular responsibilities.
The confidence I have gained from this is incredible.  The discipline and responsibility I've shown has trickled down into other portions of my life and I am way better for it.  I know I can do whatever the hell I put my mind too and that my friends is PRICELESS.  If I come in first or last, it doesn't matter because I literally feel like I can conquer the world. Goals are awesome, reaching them makes you feel even more awesome, so please go after yours.  You WILL NOT regret it. 

Negatives of the week:  I'm getting tired but it's ok....I'm in the home stretch.  My husband is beyond freaked out by my man muscles.  It's pretty funny.  The freakishness is short lived and almost over though so it's all good. :)

Positives:  I'm doing nothing but sleeping, training and eating at this point.  I'm mentally preparing for it to get really tough in these final days.  I know "The Call" is coming and things are about to get real tight.  I'm excited to see what happens to my body in this final stretch.  It's going to be hard but worth it.  Countdown to candy and the beach:  12 DAYS AND A WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great week.  If you have time for Facebook you have time to train for your goal! ;) Good luck!!!

PS:  I am going to start recruiting for next year.... I want as many girls as possible training with me at The Fit Factory!!  The more the merrier!!  IT IS SO MUCH FUN!!!! :)  

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Addict In Me.


      The addict in me is already worried about my next fix.  I am crazy.  Researching nutrition and other things to help me reach new goals.  My first competition is in 20 days and I already can't wait to start training for the next round.   I hope to get stronger over the next few months on a caveman diet.  From what I have been reading though it would be beneficial for me to keep something like oats at least in the mornings for training purposes. I think that may be crucial in getting some proper carbs to grow some more legs. Otherwise I could probably just get away with root veggies and dense greens instead of things like rice.  I would obviously keep my yummy protein powders but may look for something more natural.  I will not rid myself of peanut butter.  It's not paleo but I don't care.  The Fit Factory is certainly in my future plans and a CrossFit gym.  I know I will probably want to WOD a time or two a week because I really do enjoy it too.

         I am worried about my training buddy moving. She wants me not to talk about it but my addict behavior is taking over.  I am more then worried, I am obsessing. Thelma and Louise!!!!   I don't like this one bit.  I mean day in and day out we sweat together and give it our all for hours on end.  It's our passion and sanity.  It's going to be a tough change.  I know God has a plan and we will survive moving onto the next chapter but I do not have to like it.   I will be accepting applications for someone to train with, however you must be a beautiful blonde angel beast sent directly from heaven to me, who never has any excuses and trains like she gets millions of dollars just to work out. You have get to the gym no matter what your gigantic family throws your way. You must leave it all on the floor everyday and also keep me in line. You must be a tad overly sensitive to make up for my insensitivity.  I can be paranoid and rude for the both of us. Minimum requirements of skills are OHS your body weight for 5, back squat it for 20, strict pull ups for sure and be able to bat your eyelashes at 100 rep sets of everything else.....  Holy shit, I am going to miss our work outs my friend. I'm totally kidding about applications.... we all know you can never be replaced.  While these other girls sit on the JV bench we work our asses off.  We will have to Skype or Facetime some gym time!!   I am already planning a trip to Washington so we can shop for my other addiction....SPEED SHORTS!! Canadian prints baby!!  ;)  Thank you for doing all this craziness with me. It wouldn't have been the same without you.  I am sad but excited for our futures.  June 8th will be so bitter sweet.  This really has been a ride of a lifetime and we are so blessed. Oh and Amber, YES I WILL EVEN MISS THOSE DAMN KIDS!!!! ;)

           I am excited and relaxed about competition.  It's nothing to stress over, again, this is a hobby and should be fun.  Especially now that my body has gone above and beyond my wildest expectations.  I can't believe that washboard is mine!!  So cool!!! In fact I am so lean I got hooked up with unlimited greens and other treats!! ( I bet I just jinxed myself LOL)  I feel great and I can't wait!!   I am looking beyond WIERD now. It's cool but even if it was possible to keep this up I wouldn't. I caught my husband grabbing my shoulders the other day with a WTF look on his face!!  PRICELESS!!! Now three or four weeks ago, that would be a different story because it would be great to look like that all the time but this is crazy!!   It's tooooo much and people stare and even run into displays at Walmart when they see me. I can't go into Food Lion without a bunch of ridiculous comments.  It is awesome and I can't wait to walk through Target tomorrow with Amber. People will be tripping and whispering around every that's entertainment. <3 it!

Negatives of the week:  I may need a new 12 step program for powdered peanut butter...... NOTHING IN MODERATION!!!.... ADDICT!!!!   Or maybe I can just head over to AA and add peanut butter in after i introduce myself as an alcoholic I'm sure friends of Bill wouldn't mind. They've heard it all.  Monday and Tuesday I was in a shit mood.  IT WAS SOOOOOOOO BAD!!!  I assume it's because I was slammed and missed some Fit Factory time. I was also very, very tired and my back was hurting. I just felt drained. I literally had to put myself in timeout Tuesday morning instead of going to the gym.

Positives:  I got all fixed, had a therapeutic massage, adjustment, and got a couple ribs put back in place. Only missed 2 days of lifting to rest my back but did legs and cardio to fill the void. Feelin like a million bucks now especially after all the extra calories and green goodness!!!!! Ahead of schedule and HAPPY!!!!  20 DAYS TILL THE BEACH AND CANDY!!!!!!!!!


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Some Reflections On This Journey and A Happy Mother's Day.


     I used to give my dad a Mother's Day Card every year.  I knew it meant so much to him.  For most of my life it was just me and him and he was my mom, my dad,  my best friend and always my biggest fan.  Even as life changed throughout the years we always stayed so incredibly close.  When I moved to NC so did he.  We had it like that.  Always there for each other no matter what.  He was that constant I had in my life that was so very comforting. I wish I could hear him tell me how beautiful I am or give me a hug like he did every single day.  I want to hear him laugh so bad I would give anything.  I  miss him terribly.  That brings us to how this all started...

     Right before my dad got sick I was already unsatisfied with my training and eating habits. I was just stagnant.   I knew I wanted a change.  By the time he was in the hospital I was eating like shit everyday and rarely getting to any gym at all.  When he passed, I had two choices to make, 1: take all my new found free time and feel sorry for myself or 2: pick something to conquer and make him proud.  I chose the latter... Thank God because between him and then all my close friends moving ( Thanks Army- The Voice) I could of ended up in a bad way.  Instead, I had this training and diet to focus on and I am so thankful. I threw myself right into the deep end.   It has helped me tremendously on so many levels. I am really enjoying it and I feel better about myself then I ever have.  Plus Thelma and Louise are in full effect for one last go around on NC turf! ;)

       I had no idea I would make it as far as I have.  I remember my first blog post and I said to myself " Oh fuck, I better pray I can even make enough progress to get on that stage at all."  I can get on that stage and be proud.  For years I found myself comparing my body to others.  Something of mine was never good enough.   Recently that has all changed.  I had an "Aha" moment while practicing posing on stage.  I realize that there will always be a girl with bigger more defined muscles, less body fat or a have a heavier clean and jerk or a faster Fran. That white board or that girls big blingged out round ass doesn't define how I should feel about myself.  When I was on stage all alone posing in front of people I realized none of that mattered.  It didn't matter because it's not about them.  It's about me being the best I can be at what I am doing at that moment. SO I FEEL GREAT!!  I LOVED being up there posing in front of everyone,  little legs and all because they have come so far!!  I felt confident and I was smiling ear to ear!!  It was fun and that is what it is all about!!  So looking back I have learned that my progress and having a good time is all that matters. I set out to do something and I am well on my way.  Some little stupid cheap ass trophy isn't why I am doing this.  I am doing it for the journey ( and of course the profile pictures DUH.).  I can't wait to be up on stage all brown and weird with my girls!! :)

      Look we aren't perfect.  I eat way to much powdered peanut butter and jello. I still have delicious almond milk.  I didn't do enough cardio yesterday.  I'm not down on myself about it.  It's ok. I work my ass off.  This is all a hobby and it should be fun not torture.  If powdered peanut butter makes it not torture, so be it.  I am reaching my goals,  growing and making wonderful progress...soooooo chalk up a WIN!!

Negatives of the week:  THE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF POWDERED PEANUT BUTTER I HAVE CONSUMED.  I wanted to put that in the positives but I probably shouldn't. I guess it didn't help matters that my monthly visitor is here.  You would think a reward for training this hard and not eating that much would be no period, but NOPE.  Anyway, 4: 45 am comes early but in a weird way I like it.  It makes me feel super accomplished and focused to be knocking out a training session before the rest of the world even thinks about starting their day.

Positives:  All my training was great.  Working out to look MY best is FANTASTIC! It feels right( for now anyway, you never know what I will do next).  I slept in till 6 today and my husband gave me a massage.  This last posing clinic was incredibly insightful.  I just want June 8th to get here!! I can't wait to get back to Paleo. Packing and preparing has become easy and fast.  Going caveman again will be very enjoyable.   All the messages I have been getting from here to Afghanistan are awesome.  I am so happy I have inspired others to go after it.  I hope it makes them as I happy as it does me.  :)

Happy Mother's Day, keep your priorities straight, don't forget what YOUR goals are and have a great week!!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Big Reveal!!!

All right now here we go!!!!!                       Dec. 7th, 2012

                                                              May 5th, 2013           


DRUM ROLL........

THERE IT IS!!!!! My song choice for my routine!!!!  Then just when you thought I couldn't get any more magnificent......BAM!!!!!!!!!!! :



    I know, I know, it's hard to take in all this awesomeness at once!!  You totally thought I was gonna make you wait!!!  You all have hung in there for so many weeks it was time to unleash a bit of my masterpieces!!  You are gonna have to wait to see the actual routine though, which btw, IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! I'm not sporting this ridiculous gear until I'm all painted brown either.  DUH. WOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

Negatives of the week:  Cardio.  Also mountain climbers. Those things blow after a few minutes tick by. I also pee my pants after a few consecutive minutes of jump roping which isn't the nicest feeling.  Some of my yummy extras like almond milk and my apple were taken away this week.  Boo but yay at the same time cause I am ready to get this show on the road!!  This thing would be so much more simple if only lifting was involved!!!

Positives:  Everything else!! My family and friends are so supportive and I am incredibly blessed!!! Looking forward to a posing clinic this weekend that I am actually ready for! Countdown to candy and my favorite beach in the whole world... 33 days!!! :)

I know I am really showing my age with the song choice, good thing I don't care!!  Get it, Push It, bling it and have a great week!!!!!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

I Knew It Would Pass!

     Whew!  Thank God this week was WAY better then last.  I felt really good.   I wasn't starving and obsessing.  My cardio has even been bumped up 15 more minutes a day and I still felt fantastic.  I guess I am in an awesome peak after being deep down in the valley. That's okay.  It's good to struggle sometimes.  The grumpiness and everything has seemed to pass, for now at least! YAY!!!:)


  I am absolutely killing it when I work out and my body has continued to change.  I even scared myself at the globo when I caught a glimpse of me in a mirror.  It's getting pretty weird now with all the muscles on top of muscles and  giant veins popping out EVERYWHERE.  I feel so tiny and skinny at home and then when I work out super hard I I feel like The Thing from The Fantastic Four.
 HAHA!!!! It's crazy, it's weird but it's pretty fun stuff.  Time is ticking away so fast now. Competition will be here in a blink.  I can't wait.  Changing like this even if it's just for a few weeks is so cool.  Talk about taking your body to the extreme.  AWESOME!!!

   So I witnessed something that absolutely warmed my heart when I was leaving CrossFit one morning.  A new girl came in with her very new baby.   I could tell she had some CF experience by the way she rocked those booty shorts and knee socks.  The workout had 400m sprints with rest in between.  Her baby is so new that feeding time is probably still nearly constant.  That didn't stop her from showing up to class and trying her best no matter what. She would run out for a sprint come back in and pick up her crying baby and go off  to the side to breast feed during her rest on the clock!!!!  When it was time to go she went and came right back in and did it again!!   It was FUCKING EPIC!!!  NOOOOOOOOOO EXCUSES PEOPLE!!!!  She reminded me of when I used to throw my Emma in a seat on the back of my  bike and go for miles and miles with nothing but an extra bottle and a diaper tucked in next to her.  I LOVE IT!!!!!

Negatives of the week:  More cardio duh.  It's not bad only 45 minutes all together but hey, it's cardio BLAH.

Positives:  SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!  Our photo shoot is all booked. My routine is lookin good.  I had a total rest day Saturday with my friends and we got massages and coffee talk time. We also have been able to meet up more then ever to train together and that is always a plus! :)  Today I saw some wonderful people at WOD In The Park and it was very nice. I love things that encourage the whole community to come out and get active with their kids. It's so important. Biggest positive is I'm not hungry this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a ton of energy, maybe too much....Thanks Synedrex- The Voice.

PS: Powdered peanut butter is the shit!!!! YUM!!!!!!


Sunday, April 21, 2013

It's Not All Rainbows, Puppies, And Unicorns.

       If you are looking for rainbows, unicorns, puppies and pure diet inspiration, turn back now and tune in next Sunday.  It's been tough this week.  I'm cranky, really cranky.  This is hard, really hard. When I am in the gym I feel unstoppable and I train like a fucking super hero but by 2 pm I am toast.  Exhausted, hungry and using what little strength I have left to not lose my cool all week long has been a challenge.  I'm not saying I haven't had some fantastic moments the past seven days, I'm just saying this week has been pretty rough and mentally I feel wrecked. I am just tired of feeling unsatisfied and it would be nice to go a day without feeling my blood sugar crash and burn in the afternoon after crazy training sessions in the morning.  Then I am stuck trying to recover from that the rest of the evening.  EXHAUSTED!!!! HUNGRY!!!!  CRAVING HEAVY, WARM, DELICIOUS, COMFY FUEL, no doubt.  I CAN"T WAIT TO EAT WITH MY FAMILY AGAIN!!!!

     It hasn't been all bad though, my body has continued to change and training is going great.  I am touching myself more then ever and I feel AMAZING!!!  My underwear are falling off and I am back in my size 2 Lulu speed shorts.  My husband said I am so skinny it looks like my feet are growing!!!  He also suggested that I am so little I may need to be in the figure category ;) AHHHHHHH!!! LOL!! My suits came and they are GORGEOUS!!  I fear my prejudging suit may be a bit over the top with the metallic snake skin print but, hey, that sounds about right for me.

       OK, OK, SOOOOO...I'm just human and I know these bad feelings and grumpiness will pass. I just needed to get it off my chest I guess.  I am very thankful and proud of my accomplishments so far.  Life changing goals like this aren't easy but they are so worth it.  So far this journey has been an incredible growing experience and I am stronger then ever on so many levels. Especially mentally. I think about my life and I glow because I feel so incredibly blessed.  The things I've lived through and the drastic changes I have made over the years are freaking awesome and looking back I can't believe I am here.  It really is  incredible. This all goes back to a post I wrote weeks ago... Anyone can change,  It all starts with a decision, then a commitment to that decision, dedication along with consistency and perseverance. Perseverance is where your character comes in and you really get to shine after everyone has stopped paying attention and you are behind closed doors. That's when sticking with it really counts. I mean I didn't stop drinking a fifth and a half a day and then immediately go to the CrossFit games the next week or take care of my dad with Alzheimer disease took time, hard work and a lot of growth to be able to handle things like that, especially while no one was looking.  Sometimes you are forced into that growth, sometimes it's a choice.
 I committed my life to change, there were bumps along the way, and it didn't happen overnight but as the days went by, things got better and better and I became happier and happier with myself. Just like this week, it's not going that great but I know if I stick with it the rewards will be sweet. I guess I am writing all this crap because I really needed to hear it myself.  A friendly little reminder for me to not be a total vag. It's good to take on change that is very challenging and scares the shit out of you once in a while.  That stage scares the shit out of me but I CAN'T WAIT TO CONQUER IT!!!  Bling bling!!!

Negatives of the week: The whole first paragraph DUH. Also I had a latte and a couple squares of organic dark chocolate ( I wanted to put that in the positives but since it is "cheating" I guess it should go here, blah).

Positives:  Everything else. I LOVE TRAINING!!!  I may be grumpy and starving in the afternoons but I am hanging in and enjoying the experience.  I may need to consider setting aside a cat nap time during the day even if I don't actually sleep.  A few quiet minutes to rest and reboot could be very helpful. Also I took a TOTAL rest day today and even though it is my usually miserable super low carb/cal day I feel great.  Maybe I really needed that! :)  AND MY SUITS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!  HALF WAY!!!!!!! JUNE 8TH!!!!

I am thankful for this blog, it helps keep me motivated and I am so glad I have all this documented to look back on.  Thank you guys for reading!!! Have a great week!!!!

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”

― Newt Gingrich

Sunday, April 14, 2013

CrossFit Made My Week!!

      Believe it or not it totally did.  I AM STRONGER!!  I actually took class with the regulars instead of just a friend or two and I followed what was written on the board. I also did a long amrap and row with my training partner before class started.  I even made it in today and had a great time with coach Anne and Amber.  It was awesome.   Weaknesses that I had before I left for my globo  gym goals were no longer there.  Pistols came one right after the other.  Handstand push ups were done without fail.  Toe to bars and pull ups were just flowing in sets of ten unbroken over and over again. Sets of 20 wallballs and kettle bell swings unbroken were not devastatingly hard.  My 95 lb cleans felt like 65 lbs did a few months ago. Working up to a 120lb snatch was easy and only took a few short minutes.   I couldn't believe it.  I just kept going and going and going with a huge smile on my face.  It was great!!

      This was all confirmation that my decision to be more open minded about fitness was right for me.  I was lacking strength in many areas and became stagnant and bored. The pr's weren't coming and the constant metcons or heavy olympic lifts were not doing anything for me at that point. My joints ached and it took me a year and a half to warm up.  All the "functional movements" of CrossFit was not enough for me to keep getting better and I lost interest.  The isolated exercises I began doing ( yes some on the machines) have obviously made me stronger for much of what CF throws my way.  I realize now how deficient my hamstrings, back and sections of my shoulders were. They were very underdeveloped and it showed. The wonderful difference from this week and 4 months ago is nearly unbelievable in those areas. I guess it's just not all for looks after all. ;)

      I'm not saying all CrossFitters should go train for a bodybuilding comp.  That would be fucking crazy.  I'm just saying don't knock the globo so much. Some of us enjoy it and benefit from it. It's been around for freakin ever.  I'm not a doctor or some fancy fitness expert I'm just speaking from my current experience. Maybe if you devoted just a little time here and there to some isolated stuff you would up your CF game. I'd bet money you would.    I do still believe in ELIPTICAL=FAIL, OVERHEAD SQUAT=WIN....I'm not that far gone. BAHAHAHAHAH! I can't bare to get on that thing still!!! HAHA!!  ;)  It's to bad my CF kool aid drunk took so long to wear off though, I may of checked my ego and had a open mind about other types of training much sooner if it did.  I do know that as soon as my competition is over I am going to try all different types of classes and activities and squeeze in CrossFit as well BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME!! DUH!! Do expect to catch me the majority of my time down at the regular old gym though.  I feel to good to not keep it up!  It's gonna be fantastic!!

Negatives of the week:  I was dying hungry on Fri and Sat craving sweets.  I started my period today so I'm feeling better.  I think I'm over the peanut butter and honey spoon or murder charge hump.  Those were my two choices last night for real.  I choose option number 1 a few times.

Positives of the week:  Everything else!!! THE WEATHER IS INCREDIBLE!!! I had a great week and I'm ready to hit it hard tomorrow!!  Feeling great!!!  SEVEN WEEKS TO GO!!!!! :)

Have a wonderful,productive week and try something new!!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013



        I DO IT CONSTANTLY!!!!  I mean I can't believe this body is mine. Over the last couple weeks the feel of it has dramatically changed. I have this whole other muscle on the side of my stomach I didn't even know existed!! I can see the bottom of the dark hole I call a belly button!!!  This six pack feels like it is made out of bricks. My legs actually have definition and I catch myself pinching them because they are hard as rocks!!!  OK, OK, maybe not bricks and rocks but pretty damn hard.  I can't go past a mirror without checking myself out....Oh wait I've always done that. Duh.  It's just that now when I check myself out I'm totally flexin somethin like a giant douche. Seriously, brushing my teeth, peeing, walkin though my bedroom or in a store, if there is a mirror, I'm checkin myself out.  For realsies.  I mean fuck it, I'm only gonna be doing this for a few more short weeks. Might as well feel myself up and stare while I can.

    Things are supposed to start changing even more dramatically as the days tick by and my diet gets even more strict and the training turns up.  I can't imagine how much I will be grabbing myself then.  I honestly don't even know if I will have time for anything else at that point.  I may never leave my house...who knows.  Seriously, this is so freakin cool.

      OK, so recently with my kids dramatic drop in activities I have decided to cut the remaining crap food out of her diet.  I was still packing her some things like chips, jerky and protein bars as snacks sometimes if she was going to be away at the gym all night. It was a pain to pack fresh for the entire day and I just didn't want to deal with it sometimes. I'm just being honest.  Her breakfast and lunches were great and then...wah, wah, wah, the rest of the day not so much.  She was already use to not having bread and things like that so it wasn't that big of deal. Her being home a bit more was a great opportunity to get the rest of the processed garbage out entirely ( except dairy, she drinks whole milk and has some cheeses and lunch meats).  I've learned that they may not like it and give some push back.  It sucks at first. It's a little more work and they will fight it but I think it's worth it.  You see if all you have is healthy stuff in the house they may go hungry a few time but they will give in...they aren't going to starve to death.
                     Healthy meals for the week plus a little extra for the pantry and freezer.  

     Some say it's super expensive too.  It's not if you keep it simple.  I get what I can at Sam's Club.  In an ideal world we could all fill up our carts every few days at Whole Foods and buy grass fed everything, but most can't.  That's fine, there are other ways. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs to be real food.  I make special things for my husband and go to the gourmet stores sometimes and when this diet I'm on is over I can't wait to start shopping again at the Farmers Markets.  It's just much easier and inexpensive for me to get what I can at a big box store during these remaining weeks.  There's nothing wrong with that.

      I don't want to come across all preachy, I just know that over the last year my husbands health has improved dramatically and he lost 50lbs. He is off medications. I am so proud of him for changing his lifestyle. ( He didn't set out to loose weight, just get healthier, but it just automatically happened when he went all caveman. I also just want my kid to grow up with healthier habits then I had. I mean I lived off of Cherokee Red, Kraft mac and Chefboyardee growing up.  This doesn't mean she never eats like a kid.  She just recognizes when she eats junk and doesn't do it often. I mean it's not like she didn't chow down on a huge popcorn and candy at the movies last night.  We just don't keep it in our house.  I feel passionate about this. We feel better as a whole when we eat better food that is not processed, no doubt.  I'm not perfect, I mean the things I would do for a slice of Mellow Mushroom pie right now would make Heidi Fleiss blush.  Nobody is perfect, we just have to keep trying to be better so we can be around for a long time to enjoy this awesome life of ours! :)

Negatives of the week:  A few days I was exhausted and didn't even want to train.  Friday was a struggle and I was starving.

Positives:  Everything else!!!! :) And a big thank you to anyone who has sent me messages or posted comments about my blog and journey.  You guys help me so much! :)

Get out and get yourself some real food and have a great week!!! :)  I'm off for a run!